When I was small my father left us. I don’t know where he went. My family members spoke about it in our native Tamang language but since I didn’t know how to speak it, I couldn’t understand where he had gone. So, my mother was both my father and mother. When I was still very young, we left our village and migrated to Kathmandu.

In Kathmandu, my mother opened a Bhatti. She worked very hard and did very well in her job. When we came home from school, she always fed us delicious snacks. My mother was doing so well, that people would borrow money from her. She helped many from our village who would ask her for some loans. Most of these loans have never been paid back to her.

I still remember that day, when I came back from school and she wasn’t there to serve us any snacks. My little sister and I looked all over the shop but we couldn’t find her. My aunt came to the shop and took us with her. No-one told me where my mother had gone but I listened to my family members speaking and found out that she had been arrested and taken into jail.

Since my family members only speak our native language, it was very difficult for them to look for my mother. They speak no Nepali and so navigating themselves in Nepal’s bureaucratic system is almost impossible. After a few months, the police sent us a message saying that we could meet my mother. She was beaten very badly so she was sick at that time. We took some fruit for my mother. When she saw me and my sister, she hugged us and cried a lot. She shared all the sufferings of jail with my aunt. Since then we started visiting my mother every Saturday.

My aunt took care of us when my mother was in prison. But she had a lot of mouths to feed so it was very difficult for her. She was also taking care of some of my cousins. We were often hungry and would do things for money like going to the construction site and collecting nails. We would then sell the nails and buy dalmot for lunch. During our lunch at school, we would eat the packet of dalmot very slowly since we had no other food. We would also go to the forest nearby to collect plastic wrappers and make daalo, which we would sell.

One day, we got word that our mother wanted us to come and stay with her in jail. Perhaps because my aunt was having a hard time taking responsibility for us, they decided we should join our mother. I spent a good time there with my mother and saw the wounds on her body from when they beat her. She was still in pain from the beatings. I then found out that my mother was in prison for smuggling drugs and that her friend and partner had turned her in. I also found out that a few months later her partner was also arrested but she committed suicide in prison.

After a month of being in jail, the jailer told us that we should go stay outside of jail so we could study and have a sort of a normal life. We then met Pushpa mamu who took us and we stayed in a hostel not far away. We would come every weekend to visit our mother. I felt really good whenever I would spend time with my mother. She would cook for us and we would sleep together.  I loved the way she cooked food and played with my hair. My mother would also sew clothes, knit sweaters inside the jail and earn money that way. She also made new clothes for us during the festivals.

Every time I was sad to leave my mother after the weekends were over she would make me feel better by telling me that the jail is her school and in the same way that I had to stay outside and go to school, she had to stay in jail and finish her school. She said she was getting her education in jail but I would be getting my education in school. She was also very protective of us when we spent time with her in jail because many women were mentally not stable. They would often get violent, cause fights and create problems. I would get very scared in prison when the aunties would fight with each other and the police would come and punish them for fighting. The ones who fought would get tied to a big iron wheel with heavy chains.

Mother thought she would get free after 4 years but it turned out she was imprisoned for 10 years. During those 10 years, she was often beaten very badly. She needed an operation for her uterus once and one of her eyes went blind as well. She would save the rice, lentils, and grains she got as her ration in prison and instead of eating it she would sell it to the other inmates. She would then send us the money. Because of this, she is now very weak and often sick.

After all these years of separation, now it’s difficult for me to readjust to being with my mother. We have a distance between us because of the 10-year separation. I don’t live with her now even though she is out of prison. I still stay at the Butterfly Home at ECDC because I feel like this is now my home. In the art that I do, I try to show the emotional distance between me and my mother. I feel blessed to have a home-like Butterfly Home and to be able to continue my studies and do what I want in my life.

I do however understand that people will do what they can to feed their children. It’s poverty that made my mother desperate and I know she tried very hard to be a good mother and take care of us to the best of her ability.

Fine arts have always been something that I have been interested in. Initially, I thought I wanted to study math and be a banker so I would be able to make lots of money for my family, but when I consulted Pushpa Mamu at ECDC she reminded me that money is not everything. To be able to do what you love in life is more precious than anything else.

So, after finishing high school, I asked her to enroll me in the Fine Arts Program at Kathmandu University where I am studying now. Here, I can share my ideas and things that stress me with my mentor and friends. We often talk about emotions, and how our expression relieves our stress so I think this has been the best decision in my life. Studying art has taught me a lot about myself.

Various family members would often try to put pressure on me by telling me that everyone else my age was earning money and supporting their families but my mother has continually supported me. She says to me, if they are earning money then you are earning knowledge. So don’t listen to them and focus on your studies.

I want to study art therapy in the future. Although I love to paint and make my work I don’t see the value of staying alone and painting my whole life. I want my skills to help other people, just like my mother and all the other aunties in jail who had immense stress, mental instability, and various illnesses. I want to spend my life as an art therapist in prison and I know that Pushpa Mamu and ECDC will make this possible for me.

My mother reminds me that everything happens for a reason. Even when bad things happen, there is something good that comes out of it. I feel very fortunate to be a part of the family that I now call my own. If I hadn’t gotten a chance to stay here, who knows, maybe I would be one of the thousands of young girls working in the Gulf. When we go back to my village, people are proud of me and appreciate that I am so focused on my studies. Even though my mother suffered a lot, she ended up creating a life for us that is very good.

I am very thankful that I didn’t spend my childhood wasting my time but learned how to struggle since very early on. My struggle is my strength now. I know that I am making my way and that everything will be good.

My name is Laxmi Tamang. I live at the Butterfly Home which is run by the Early Childhood Development Center. I am currently an art student at Kathmandu University’s Fine Arts Program. I am an aspiring artist. And this is my story.

(Printed with permission from Voices of Women Media, artwork and picture Laxmi Tamang)

Life has its inroads built with struggles, the rugged road is for us individuals to overcome, and within our choices that we make, we settle for something that makes us truly in love with life. Very few individuals get the opportunity to do what they really like doing. Life is either free or fair our choices determine our career. Along these lines, a momentous discussion took place with outstandingly talented and notable actor Saugat Malla.

Born in Nawalparasi, actor Saugat started his heydays through various forms of caricature, mimicry and stage performances.  He never missed the opportunity to perform be it the Dashain or the Tihar festivals. Saugat said “It was all due to my childhood friend who used to be called by the name Renuwa in the village, he first showed me Indian cinema back in those days when no form of entertainment was available. I used to enjoy watching movies of actor Amitabh Bachchan and I remember his movie Sholay which was a very big hit”.

Saugat was inclined towards acting at a very young age, starting at just 9 when he first hit the stage through various dance performances, along with mimicry and caricature. Those were his base which he decently builds and continues never giving up even though times were tough and in some days he put over 18 hrs. to his work.

(Still frame from Kagbeni Nepal’s first HD film)

Theater became his passion and he performed in various plays. He was associated with Gurukul in Maitidevi Kathmandu, he would be recognized and brought to movies through these theater activities which he engrossed himself with. He was mentored mainly by Sunil Pokharel and Anup Baral in his endeavors and they encouraged him to pursue acting due to his raw talent.

“It was never easy for me, I used to be up most nights practicing for my plays, improving my expressions and understanding my character. There were tough times, and I had to adjust to the city life of Kathmandu, nevertheless, I never gave up” said Saugat. Indeed, he overcame his obstacles, and mainly his attitude toward his profession which he thoroughly loves brought him through those difficult times.

Saugat has performed in over 700 plays associated with Gurukul, M.R. Theater under Birendra Hamal, and various street plays including forum theater. He says “acting is not only entertainment. It is an internal expression along with providing information on various social issues, and making the larger masses aware of the happenings around us”.

Forum theaters and “kachaharis” were formats where the audiences were asked to participate along with the actors who had their story composed of any given pressing social issue that was prevalent and in discussion within the society. The actor supports the forums and street plays mainly because it is essentially to get the people educated toward problem-solving skills, and also enabling them to be aware of information too that otherwise, they may not have any access to.

From caricature, mimicry, street plays, forum theaters and over two decades of pursuing acting, Saugat made history with his first break in Nepalese cinema. Kagbeni was the first of its kind high definition movie to hit the theaters. Saugat was praised for this acting skills and the movie went on to be critically acclaimed and loved by the Nepali audience which changed the dynamics of the industry.

(Still frame from movie Kagbeni)

Saugat then went on to lead in various movies which would establish him as one of the most bankable actors of Nepalese cinema. ” Loot” series a movie based on robbery would be remembered only for the brilliance of the character “Haku Kale” which was majestically portrayed by sheer acting of Saugat Malla. Other movies would follow which would further strengthen his hold on the Nepalese movie industry which includes Dasdhunga, Chhadke, Kabaddi Kabaddi, Fateko Jutta, and Lappan Chhappan.

(Still frame from movie Loot) 

Saugat believes that in order to be successful one should have perseverance along with monumental discipline. These were core factors that brought him to his position along with his passion for the profession.

“Nepali movies need to experiment and bring stories that would relate with the general public, rather than usual slapstick. I choose my characters if I can do full justice to them. Yes, of course, there are times when you do it because you need to survive”. He also says “keeping yourself fit is extremely important. I hit the gym often, and I also take inspiration from actor Jean-Claude Van Damme for his performance and physique in the movie Kickboxer”.

(Still frame from movie Chhadke)

Saugat Malla has tasted success and his prudence will guide him further, modest and gentle, the stardom received hasn’t changed the person within him. He still holds the same passion and regard for his profession and ingenuity strives to perform and entertain. Although he feels, more than entertaining acting is a medium of informational exchange. Actor Saugat Malla is the recipient of the National Film Award for the Best Actor for his movie Loot, and the Nepal Film Technician Association award for the most popular actor.

(Photos via Youtube. The discussion took place on 18th September 2019, location Madhouse Production office Maitidevi)

Reporters Club: While music and its art represent entertainment and ease, it goes beyond its traditional parameters and extends itself into attracting the masses towards information that is pertinent with changing times in our society.

The crowd in Mandala Theatre yesterday was witness to one such release that is hopeful of gaining popularity in the coming days. With a powerful message of the world around us and portraying a normal life of an individual in Nepal and his life long struggle, the apathy that is displayed by certain characters and the injustice toward the lead is a situation relatable to all Nepalese.

Sansarai Baimani or translated as “Fraudulent World” brings within it not only the music that one can listen too but with a thought hitting screenplay and direction manages to captivate the audience over its exemplary storyline.

It was well received by the audience in its release yesterday amidst a program held in the Mandala Theatre.

Hosting the program Janak Raj Sapkota introduced the song with a presentation for the audience, and later released the song which was met with a grand applause.

(Anup Ojha and Janak Raj Sapkota)

Speaking on the occasion of the release, Poet Viplob Prateek stated that this song sends out a strong signal to the younger generation in their course of life, and it is a blessing in disguise to be released coincidentally on the Constitution Day of Nepal.

(Poet Viplob Prateek) 

He also said that while it was necessary for “Nepali music industry to flourish, it still hasn’t found its direction in which it can be uniquely identified in the international scenario due to the many genres present which are common worldwide”. Speaking at the program, he also said that “this song and its ruefulness was of the singer’s own struggle that he faced and it has come as a first-person narrative”. He was hopeful that it will be well received by the audience.

Speaking at the same program musicologist Sangam Panta spoke about the surprise elements, and the musicology behind the entire idea and concept of Sansarai Baimani, he too hoped that this would be successful in the coming days as it was a strong message that is being sent out to the society.

(Musicologist Sangam Panta)

Singer Anup Ojha who is a career journalist spoke about his struggles and his objectives toward singing and wanting an audience to hear the message he had. This is his second song after his debut “Wariko Dadama Ma”(On the other side of the Hill) which has over 2 million views.

Ojha has a similarity of creating a thought conscious society towards the disparities Nepalese individuals face. While speaking in the program he recalled his experience as a Tootle rider, in order to save money to make his second release alongside thanking his motivator and friend Fursang Lama in this endeavor.

Sansarai Baimani portrays the struggle of a common village boy in Nepal, who lost his father due to the insurgency that had inflicted the nation. As most common Nepalese this song shows the individual struggle of leaving his family and going abroad through an agent in order to secure his livelihood. Throughout this entire process he is cheated in every step and is frustrated that although he is ethical enough, to be honest, he is met with frauds, and con men that cheat him. This real struggle is shown in a part humorous and entertaining background score where even the almighty is steeped in corruption ignoring the plight of the common man.  It vividly brings out the struggle of a Nepalese man in his lifetime alongside a contemporary setting.

(Still frame from the video featuring Anup Ojha and Director Safal KC) 

As our society gears up for the festivities in the coming days, we hope that songs like these serve as a reminder not to lose our ethics and realize the value we share as citizens.  Singer Anup was supported by Bhanu Bhakta Dhakal and Jhuma Limbu in the vocals.

Shot in Champadevi village, this musical is charismatically captured by cinematographer Murtaza Shah, while it is directed by Pratik Gurung and Safal Kc. The latter directed a critically acclaimed movie titled “Hari” in 2018.

This musical was created by Madhouse Productions, and it features Bijay Baral, Prakash Gandharva, Prakash Dahal, Bhawna Thapa, Suraj Chaulagain, Deeprakj B.K ( child artist), and the singer Anup Ojha in the lead. The story was originally framed by Roshan Sedhai.

Speaking to the team of the Reporters Club, the Director duo Pratik and Safal stated that ” they had an amazing and enriching experience directing this song, although there were budget constraints in order to entirely implement their idea, nevertheless things did work out well in the end”. The duo too hopes for its grand success.

Music is important as stated earlier not only for entertainment but the purpose it serves in order to send out a message to the society that would really captivate them and enable them to think. Sansarai Baimani has hit the right chords, with a powerful message as this and a clear conceptual framework of the Nepalese society it is validating enough that it will be well received by the audience. We have our perspective of the society and so does this video that brings in one and nothing can be more attentive in our times as this line in the lyrics, “hami nai raichau iman ma chalne yo sansarai baimani” (we move in line being honest while this world is fraudulent).

Watch the video here: