Enhancing self confidence

It’s no secret that there is a serious lack of self-confidence all around us. Blame it on the media, high divorce rates, unloving homes or excessive airbrushing – the sad truth is that we live in a culture where low self-esteem is the norm.

Most of the  children, adolescents coming to me usually complaint of low level of confidence. Let’s understand

What Is Self-Confidence? Self-confidence is an aspect of overall self-esteem.

Parents and educators play an important role in helping children develop self-confidence. self-confidence is a major factor in emotional development and mental health. Healthy self-confidence tend to be more creative and make friends easily. Self-confidence levels also have important implications for personality development as the child grows into adulthood.

Signs of Low Self-Confidence

Children with low self-confidence tend to have a hard time interacting with other children, and they find making and maintaining friendships difficult. They are often hesitant to try new things, giving the excuse of “I know I can’t do it.” Children with low-self confidence often make false generalizations about themselves and their failures, such as “I got a bad grade in science class, I’m just stupid.” These children may also express general dislike for themselves or wish to be someone else.

Most of them which I have come across dwell from lower socio economic backgrounds, who have shifted from rural sector to urban sector for educational purposes, they are usually found to compare themselves with others who are better off.

Parental expectations are a major factor in a child’s self-confidence. When expectations are too low, children are not motivated to try new things and achieve milestones. A child may also believe that his parents’ low expectations are his fault, because he is not smart enough or good enough to achieve. Expectations that are consistently too high set children up for failure and create a cycle of anxiety. Parental response is another aspect of a child’s self-confidence.

Constant criticism creates feelings of never being able to do anything right. A lack of recognition or insincere praise for achievements is damaging, as well.

Building Self-Confidence

Parents and educators can help build a child’s self-confidence through their responses and expectations. As the National Network for Child Care states, “Tell children what to do instead of what not to do.” For example, instead of telling a child “Don’t wear those muddy shoes in the house,” say instead, “Please take off your shoes before you come in the house.”

Constructive criticism is an important part of learning. When a child makes a mistake, make sure he understands what he did wrong and what he could do differently the next time. Be mindful of your tone and expression, and avoid criticizing him in front of others. Offer sincere praise for every achievement, even small ones. Create opportunities in which your child can succeed.

Few tips to enhance one’s self confidence

-The first step in building stronger self-esteem is to stop kicking yourself and harness the potential within.
-Take Risks, There is nothing quite like accepting a new challenge and conquering it.
-Be Optimistic.
-Avoid being judgmental.
-Seek enriching relationships.
-Forgive yourself. Everyone experiences failure. But berating yourself solves nothing.
-Test Your Beliefs’ lack of self-confidence often becomes self-sustaining because we never test out the beliefs which support it. If you were   to give yourself a push and actually express those opinions, you may find out most people actually find them intriguing, not weird.
-This is what I call testing your beliefs in reality. Just because you believe with certainty that something will happen doesn’t mean there     is solid, real-life evidence that you are right. Most of us believe strongly in many silly things.
– The effective way you can find out if your beliefs are grounded in reality or not is to test them out. Get out there, face your fears and you        may be surprised what really happens.

From my perspective, a large part of the answer to the perpetual question “How to gain confidence?” is this: change the way you habitually think. This is not one single action, it’s a gradual process: it means identifying your irrational thinking, combating it, finding and applying more realistic ways of interpreting events. As you do so, you will naturally improve your confidence.

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” – Norman Vincent Peale